The #1 rule God taught me in any relationship is to not make permanent decisions with temporary people. We need to know the three types of people we meet in our life and those three types vary according to how those belonging to the three groups upgrade themselves in the relationship we have with them at each level:
- Those we meet for a reason – the kind of people who come when we need(ed) an immediate thing for an immediate shift in our lives to happen successfully.
- Those we meet for a season – they come into our lives at a season where we need whom to pour into or who can pour into us the answers we need.
- Those we meet for a lifetime – these are people who are linked to us through our divine purpose; what religion likes to call destiny helpers. They focus on helping us to become the best version of yourself without changing us into what they think we can be for them, but facilitate us to become the best version of whom God wants us to become for God Himself, not for anyone else.
Don’t attach yourself to anyone, but connect with your divine purpose, and those who are connected with their divine purpose will connect to you, and you to them. Understanding this will give you peace when they leave you or when you make the right decision to leave them when you are an obstacle for their closeness to God and vice-versa. This will give you the discernment to know who not to leave soon and who to leave so soon.
24 The man of too many friends [chosen indiscriminately] will be broken in pieces and come to ruin,
But there is a [true, loving] friend who [is reliable and] sticks closer than a brother.Proverbs 18 : 24
Some people will use you like painkillers and antibiotics, and the moment they finish the cure and are healed, then boom, you become like an ancestor to them. Discerning well where each person belongs helps you to practice more of connection, not attachments. Connection is being a solution and attachment is building unrealistic expectations. N.B: Never take anything personal with people, just do the work God sent you to do in people, and when they choose to leave, let them go. On the other hand, when you have done your part and they become the best version of whom God wants that person to be for Himself in that season, then the outcome isn’t your conclusion. God is The Beginning and The End of you, but remember, He doesn’t begin or end because He is Eternal.
There are some people who are obstacles. God can bless us and we want to move with them, but when we try to pull them with us, they are delaying us from moving forward. But, before we make the mistake of letting people go too early, we must first let them know. The thing is we want them to go without us looking bad, but we cannot be an angel in everyone’s stories. We will always be an angel in someone’s story, and a devil in another person’s story: we can never please everyone. But we are supposed to first try to save people because we are called for salvation. Have a meeting and lay a plan: either we all go through preparation together for excellence, or we start preparing for a peaceful transition. However, humility is sitting down and saying, “Holy Spirit, here we are, please lead us.” But we have people who don’t humble themselves and come together to find a solution.
3 Do two men walk together unless they have made an appointment?
Amos 3 : 3
We have to agree. You know what agreement means? Agreement involves a contract: if in that contract, if there are elements which are not observed, then we look for a way to rectify. And if we don’t find a way to rectify amicably, then we separate ways. Lastly, we have to become so valuable that the people around us are not intimidated by our value. If they are intimidated by our value, then they are not supposed to be in our presence. But if they are inspired by our value, then they are supposed to be uplifted with us.
