Getting offended is normal, but reacting to that offense is abnormal. Your reaction to someone’s words and/or actions is an indication of what is inside of you, not what happened outside of yourself. Whoever angers you, then he/she has control over you.
11 Good sense and discretion make a man slow to anger,
And it is his honor and glory to overlook a transgression or an offense [without seeking revenge and harboring resentment].Proverbs 19 : 11
9 Do not be eager in your heart to be angry,
For anger dwells in the heart of fools.Ecclesiastes 7 : 9
Their words and/or actions towards you show who they are, but your reaction reveals who you really are. A wiseman is a man who can feel hurt, but will choose not to react to that toxic feeling.
26 BE ANGRY [at sin—at immorality, at injustice, at ungodly behavior], YET DO NOT SIN; do not let your anger [cause you shame, nor allow it to] last until the sun goes down. 27 And do not give the devil an opportunity [to lead you into sin by holding a grudge, or nurturing anger, or harboring resentment, or cultivating bitterness].
Ephesians 4 : 26 – 27
19 Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]; 20for the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us].
James 1: 19 – 20
11 A [shortsighted] fool always loses his temper and displays his anger,
But a wise man [uses self-control and] holds it back.Proverbs 29 : 11
What others say and/or do to you isn’t under your control, but what is in your full control is your reaction to your own emotions, not the emotions of someone else. That reaction is your way to tell them how you deserve to be treated.
8 But now rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, malice, slander, and obscene (abusive, filthy, vulgar) language from your mouth.
Colossians 3 : 8
Your response ability is your only responsibility, because in this life, people will always try to offend you. Manage the reactions and let your emotions find balance, then boom, you are a peacemaker rather a trouble-finder.
Have you ever noticed that being annoyed for more than a minute will make you feel annoyed that you are actually annoyed? Any prolonged toxic emotion will become the issue of toxicity, not what caused that reaction in the first place.
8 Cease from anger and abandon wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evil. 9 For those who do evil will be cut off,
But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land.Psalms 37 : 8 – 9
Stop living for so long in your emotions because it makes you feel that everyone is entitled to feel what you are feeling. Then, when reality hits harder, you will eventually understand that no one will care about you more than you choose to care about your own self. You will never care for others more than you care about your own self, and most times, we don’t do it even if we deeply and sincerely need it.
18 ‘You shall not take revenge nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor (acquaintance, associate, companion) as yourself; I am the LORD.
Leviticus 19 : 18
Those who cannot control their emotions will find themselves controlling others’ behaviors; the behaviors of others will be your concern, not your own behavior. We are in control of our attitudes, reactions, emotions, and intentions which are found in our freewill. External provocation is out of your control, but your expressive method is within your inner control. Don’t let someone’s emotional unintelligence drive your emotional stability and intelligence. But more than that, we don’t have any control because The Only One who has control over everything is God; God loves the humble and He humbles the arrogant.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5 : 22 – 23
